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Attention! Translation was done using AI, mistakes are possible
For the first month, I had no direct communication with him at all. I’d find out through commanders whether he was okay. Then a connection appeared, because they managed to send Musk’s Starlink units there (internet access points — I.K.). After that, the shelling intensified, and most of the Starlinks were destroyed. Now I’m in touch with him once every two or three days.
The Azovstal plant is on the left bank. My husband and his part of the regiment were originally stationed on the right bank. When a massive number of Russian troops were deployed there, the part of the Azov Regiment based on the right bank found itself in a double encirclement.
We had essentially already said our goodbyes, because there was no chance at all. It felt like some horrifying reality show. We were just watching them die in real time. They were surrounded — about to be destroyed at any moment. We said goodbye, told each other we loved each other, and that was that.
But about 10 days ago, they carried out an incredible, extraordinary operation. They broke through the encirclement to reunite with the rest of the regiment at Azovstal. They swam across the river to avoid using the bridge. They transported weapons on rafts and boats. They were fired upon; there were casualties. Like something out of an action movie.
Right now at Azovstal, everything is terrible. Imagine: 2 months of blockade. A literal blockade. Nothing has gotten in for 2 months. They only have technical, dirty water. For food — porridge and pasta. They have nothing nutritious left. They eat once a day. They’ve lost 10 to 15 kilograms. My husband lost 10 kilograms. And he was slim to begin with — he had no extra weight. I think this entire fight continues solely on the strength of physical training. They’d been training for all 8 years. And sheer willpower — because physically, biologically, they are depleted.
The Russians have already broken into part of the plant. There was a danger they’d seize the entire facility, but the Azov fighters managed to push them back. But here, the assault isn’t even as terrifying as the air strikes, because the air strikes are constant. They drop heavy bombs, multi-ton ones that leave craters the size of a four-story building. That’s what kills large numbers of people. The ground assault itself is the final stage — it’s small arms fire, and the Azov fighters have the means to answer that. The most terrifying thing is the bombing from the sky, the sea, and the land.
On May 6, I contacted my husband at 10 in the evening. He said the assault had been going on non-stop. There are periods of several hours when a ceasefire is declared and civilians are evacuated, but even during those times there are shootouts and battles. The day before yesterday, Russians fired on a bus that had been sent to pick up civilians — 3 soldiers who were driving the bus were killed.
He said that in the bunker where the wounded are now located, there are several people who will live a day or two at best. The Russians won’t allow them to be rescued. People are simply dying in terrible pain, because painkillers ran out long ago. They’ve been in this condition for 2 months — there are people with internal organ damage, with shattered bones. They just lie there waiting for help that never comes.
But they will hold their ground to the end. They won’t surrender, because of the specific way Russian soldiers treat Azov fighters. In the entire time since 2014, only one Azov fighter has returned from captivity alive — with his teeth knocked out, his kidneys beaten, covered in bruises. It’s clear what was done to him. All the others were tortured and killed.
Among the latest evidence of Russia “upholding” the Geneva Convention — a recording of an Azov fighter from Azovstal in captivity. During some battle, he was captured and they recorded a huge number of propaganda videos with him, and then they killed him and sent the photograph to his mother. That is the fate of Azov fighters who surrender. That’s why captivity is not an option for them.
They are asking for a political solution that would allow them to leave for Ukrainian territory or a third country. They’re even willing to lay down their weapons and sign an agreement not to continue participating in this war, if a third country takes them. Anything but captivity, anything but evacuation to Russian territory or occupied territories.
I think you know they’ve traditionally been labeled neo-Nazis, fascists, and so on. We’re trying to fight that narrative. Together with other wives of Azov fighters, we’ve united and decided to speak with foreign media to combat these myths. Pyotr Verzilov has also been helping us a great deal. We’ve launched a serious information campaign with truthful information about the regiment, the war, and Mariupol.
The Azov Regiment is an official, entirely legitimate unit of the Ukrainian army. The regiment was formed in 2014 as a response to Russia’s attack on Ukraine. I want to emphasize that Russia invaded Ukraine in 2014, not 2 months ago. Throughout the regiment’s history, Greeks, Crimean Tatars, Azerbaijanis, Armenians, Jews, Europeans — everyone — has served alongside Ukrainians. There have never been any issues with that. This goes to show that neo-Nazism is incompatible with such an interethnic approach.
I have a friend who runs one of the largest LGBTQ organizations in Ukraine. She donated a certain sum from their organization to the Azov Regiment. She explained it by saying that no one from the Azov Regiment has ever committed attacks on LGBTQ people or other minorities.
At the same time, there is a battalion called “Tornado” — they did commit crimes, and they’ve been imprisoned since 2016. I want to emphasize that Ukraine genuinely strives to be a rule-of-law state, and war criminals are in prison. The only evidence Russia appeals to is some photographs of tattoos and certain symbols that are interpreted in a particular way. As for the symbols, they long ago lost any provocative connotation. In their early days, the Azov fighters undoubtedly invested a different meaning in these symbols. The fact that the symbols later became a stumbling block prompted them to change them.
If you judge people by their tattoos, you could accuse a great many people of a great many things. And for me, actions matter more than any symbols.
Civilians from Azovstal are taken first to Russian-controlled territories. First they pass through a filtration camp, and only then can they reach Zaporizhzhia. There they are checked, their phones are inspected, and it’s decided whether they deserve to be free. Then they get back on a bus and travel to the Zaporizhzhia side. No one from Azovstal has reached Ukrainian territory directly. Everyone has had to go through this hell.
Russian soldiers are very demoralized, especially in Mariupol. Russian soldiers have even voluntarily surrendered to Arsenii (Yulia’s husband’s name — I.K.). I have videos where they say: “This is just a slaughter. We don’t want to be here. We didn’t sign up for this. I went for training exercises, wanted to earn some money. They just throw us in like meat.”
In Mariupol, the Russian army’s tactic when they were still clearing the city was to first send in heavy equipment, then throw in, say, 100 Russian fighters, some of whom don’t even have body armor. They’d just be sent in, and however much territory they could seize while losing the bulk of their personnel — so be it.
What stands against this is the genuinely strong motivation of the Ukrainians and the very serious training of Azov. They’d been preparing for these kinds of ordeals for all 8 years. These people are volunteers — there are no conscripts among them. They are maximally professional and motivated.
The most important thing, I believe, is that what my husband is doing is a righteous cause. I married this man partly because he is willing to stand up for the values we share — physically, not just in words.
Emotionally, there are moments when I can’t understand why this is happening to us, why I might never see my husband again. But deep down, I understand that this is right — why should strangers die for what I believe in, rather than me?
