Not a day goes by that I don’t think about it. Especially about the dead girl

КА: I want to talk about your story, about the story of you and your wife, your story before the bombing of the Drama Theater, before the start of the full-scale war – how you worked in this theater, how much it meant to you, and we'll move on to talking about the tragic day, the anniversary of which will happen literally in two days. I want through your story once again, especially for those who weren't in Mariupol, to show how much pain and horror Russia inflicted not only on that day, but in general.

СЗ: In general, yes. In general, it inflicted a lot.

КА: Do you have any questions for me?

СЗ: No, I don't have any questions. You know, I'm open to everyone, I've communicated with many television companies, and newspapers, and magazines. I want to shed as much light as possible on what happened in Mariupol, specifically in the Drama Theater. I'm speaking specifically about the Drama Theater now, because there in front of the Drama Theater two words were written – "children", on both sides, which were visible from space.

КА: You and your wife wrote this, if the sources are to be believed?

СЗ: No, not me. We made the decision, my wife went, took paint from the decorative workshop, and instructed people to write these letters. I was absent at that moment.

КА: We'll figure this out in more detail now. I just want us to try to describe the story from the very beginning. I'd like to learn about you before the full-scale war, about your work in the theater, about what you actually did in the theater, how much it meant to you. Can you tell me about this? How long did you work, what position did you hold in the Mariupol Drama Theater?

СЗ: Yes, of course, I understand. My wife worked as a lighting designer. She finished Avdeyevka college, because we don't have higher educational institutions that train lighting designers. This is the only institution we have in Ukraine. She finished this college. She worked 20 years in the theater. She worked as a lighting technician, but then moved to lighting designer, worked 20 years. I worked 19 years in this theater, worked as an actor. I also started, like my wife, from the very bottom, as a supporting cast actor. I reached the level of highest category actor. I also taught in the college, musical college, and then it transitioned to the status of college of culture and arts, because we opened an acting course on the base of this college. We worked there for 10 years.

КА: And you worked specifically in the Drama Theater for 19 years, do I understand correctly?

СЗ: Yes, specifically in this theater.

КА: And can you tell me about it before the full-scale war, before Russian aggression came to Mariupol? What kind of theater was it? How would you describe it to a person who was never there?

СЗ: You know, to describe it to a person who was never there, or if they were, then from the audience side... I now live in the Czech Republic, I really want to get into a theater and at least go on stage for 5 minutes. To hear that smell. Maybe there will be a different smell, I don't know, I can't even suppose. I just don't have time. And our theater... The first theater where I worked was the Horlivka municipal city theater, in the city of Horlivka. There was one smell there, in this theater there was a different smell, but a theatrical smell. How it is here – I don't know, I really want to get backstage, just walk across the stage. Do you love your work?

КА: Yes.

СЗ: And for me this was beloved work. I went to work with pleasure, regardless of all the inter-collective complications that we had. In the collective there were clashes between actors during rehearsals. Regardless of this, we all loved our theater, so this theater meant a lot to me. When I came to this city, I understood that this was my city, I fell in love with it at first sight. While I was traveling from the bus station, I really liked it, I liked everything. So for me this meant a lot. For my wife this theater also meant a lot. After school she went to some personnel department courses, something like that, but she still went to the theater. She went to the theater for a lower salary, not knowing when you'll raise your category. That's how we worked – we worked out of love for the work. Exclusively love. I think I answered your question, didn't I?

КА: Yes, this is an emotional assessment. But I want to imagine what kind of theater it was. What it was like inside, what performances were your favorites? To outline your love for work with some details.

СЗ: First, love for work, I already said, when you go to work with pleasure. This is the highest happiness for a person, when you go to work with pleasure. This is the most important thing. I don't know how it was for my wife, what her favorite performances were, which ones she didn't like. But I had favorite performances, they remain to this day. My most favorite – "Moscow-Petushki" by Venedikt Yerofeyev. Konstantin Dobrunov directed it, a magnificent director, unfortunately, he died. This is one of the most beloved. I really loved the performance "Black and Red" and "Mariupol's Treasure of Nestor Makhno". This was written by our journalist based on rumors that circulated in the city after Makhno, that he dug up a treasure. He rummaged through a lot of information, read a lot about Makhno and about how he stayed in our Mariupol. And he wrote a play, we staged this play. It was a very good play. I hope I also had a decent performance. Only the audience can always judge this. I can't judge this.

КА: And who did you play?

СЗ: I played Nestor Makhno, retrospectively like this: I played Makhno in his youth and then I played Makhno literally before his death. This isn't the main role, this is a supporting role. The main role belonged to Nestor Makhno's bodyguard Ivan Lepetchenko. A very good performance in my opinion, I really enjoyed working in it. While we were staging the performance, while rehearsals were going on, it was difficult. Each performance doesn't come very easily. You know, many actors say that each role is like a child. Yes, I agree with this. Even if you don't like this role, but they initially cast you in this role, you read the play and think: damn, why did they put you there? But a lot depends on the director, a lot, on his approach to the actor, to the production in general. There are a lot of nuances there that can't be explained so simply. You need to sit for a long time and talk. But so, in principle, our collective was friendly, a good collective. We had a lot of young people recently, our own students, from our own college.

КА: In general, the Drama Theater, what role did it play in the life of the city, how much did it shape life? How many people came to performances?

СЗ: Very many came, recently many people came. Many of our performances were sold out.

КА: Before the full-scale war, what did the theater look like, how many stages were there, how big, how spacious was it? It's difficult for anyone except theater workers to describe how large-scale it was.

СЗ: We had two stages – large and small. There was a rehearsal hall, there was a large lobby where a big Christmas tree was put up for New Year, where there were masses of people, children for New Year holidays. That is, the theater was quite spacious. We had very many dressing rooms, there was a deep basement. The place where the bomb shelter was, there was a huge room. Well, how huge, by the standards of one person it's huge, but for 300-400 it's small. But nevertheless, this is quite a spacious building. I can't tell you the dimensions.

КА: I understand, yes, of course.

СЗ: I can't say, of course. But it was a large building, good, beautiful, they were planning to renovate it. Since our theater became an architectural monument, we had a renovation planned – they completely renovated the roof, completely changed everything, insulated it. They started with the roof, did a renovation of the fire water system, completely changed the fire system. They were planning to undertake a major renovation of the building. That is, first inside, then outside. Or vice versa, I can't tell you exactly, but they were planning to start this. We lived a full life and money was allocated. We actors were satisfied that at least something moved forward.

КА: And what was your, maybe personally your favorite place in the theater? Maybe something special for you?

СЗ: One of my favorite places was my dressing room. Three of us lived there. I always say "lived", I never say that we were at work or served. We lived there. Me, my godfather Alexey Vereshchak and my friend Igor Kitrish, the three of us lived there. I think that this was probably the only dressing room where there were never any scandals. Well, not scandals, but some misunderstandings. We would come, sit calmly, go to rehearsal, work, come back, sit calmly, drink coffee. This was one of the favorite places. And the most favorite place – on stage. Being on stage was very good. In winter, of course, it was somewhat difficult, especially during rehearsals, because they hadn't yet changed the doors from the pockets. Pockets are such huge spaces where decorations were stored, the doors there didn't close tightly, and cold always came from there. So during rehearsals I didn't love it very much. If you sit backstage, waiting for your entrance, and you can sit absolutely the whole rehearsal and not come out for your scene at all. But if you're on stage all the time, then you're hot. I came out in a sweater for the last performance "Scapin Owns Everything", what Angelika Arganovna staged. I came out in a sweater, started working, and I had to take it off because I was hot, because you're running around on stage all the time. These are two favorite places – the stage and the dressing room, these were the most favorite places.

КА: And do you remember what was your last performance before the full-scale Russian invasion, in which you performed?

СЗ: I don't remember the last performance, but it seems it was "Scapin Owns Everything". Then I didn't have evening performances for several days, but there were rehearsals. And what we were rehearsing, I can't remember now. Oh, I remembered! We were rehearsing "Diamonds", I don't remember what this play is called, it's translated into Ukrainian and the title is changed. So I can't tell you now what the play itself is called.

КА: And what is it about?

СЗ: Oh, there... It's long to describe. The action takes place in a theater, some actress who's already more or less famous is rehearsing, and the producer's son, who just came on stage because he's the producer's son. And there are such complications. I remember that "diamonds", and what else was there, I don't remember now.

КА: Well okay, if you don't remember, then nothing terrible. Let's move on to the invasion, to the moment when war came to Mariupol. How did this develop for you and how did it happen that you became the commandant of the bomb shelter? How did the theater in general become a shelter for people who lost their homes?

СЗ: You know, while we were watching the news, here, maybe war will start, my wife and I were sure that if this starts, then it will last three days maximum, a week. That is, they'll sit down at the negotiating table and agree on everything. I personally was sure of this, my wife and I talked about this. February 24th [2022] I woke up a little earlier and heard that there were explosions on the outskirts. We live in the center, and I heard that somewhere far from the center explosions were happening. I thought that these were such intimidations. Our director wrote in our general Viber chat that no one goes to work, everyone stays at home. But still I really was sure, I was sure that what happened wouldn't happen. And my wife on the very first day went to spend the night with our daughter in the theater. She called the director, says: "So and so, I want to spend the night in the theater", – he says: "If you think it's necessary, then please". She went with our daughter. I spent the night at home with my older son.

КА: You didn't go with her, right?

СЗ: No-no-no. We didn't think it would be so serious. While there was electricity, gas, heat, all this was there, we sat, spent nights at home. We have cats there, our daughter's snails, a bunch of these snails. In the morning I went, brought them food. Then my wife decided to stay for the next night, they spent the night in my wife's electrical workshop. There's a small room there, but it's solid, that's exactly where the explosion caught us with my wife. Solid, such a small room, and everywhere around are load-bearing walls.

КА: This is basement level, right?

СЗ: No, this is on stage, this is 20 meters from the explosion epicenter. They spent 2-3 nights there. Then more people started coming, as information appeared on the city administration website, on all our local sites, where bomb shelters were reported, our theater was also described as a bomb shelter. But I want to note that the bomb shelter wasn't ready to receive people at all. There was nothing there: no communications, no lighting, no water, no toilets, no sewerage – there was nothing. The previous owners there... The thing is, this room belonged to some private people who once under Pozhivanov bought this room from the theater.

КА: And what was there before the war, in this bought-out room?

СЗ: Long before the war there was a restaurant there, but it didn't last long, the owners changed. They opened a restaurant there again, it didn't last long, and they removed everything from there: tiles from the walls, from the floor. Only one toilet remained and that's all, there was nothing else.

КА: So it was just vacant, right?

СЗ: Just vacant, yes, long ago, long before the war, 10 years for sure. 10 years ago there was the last restaurant there. It was also called "Theatrical". So, now, wait, I lost the thread.

КА: You were saying about people starting to come to the bomb shelter, but the bomb shelter wasn't ready yet.

СЗ: Ah, yes-yes. We had mats there, stage costumes, and there were also such wooden boards made of thick wood. We recently changed the stage floor, well, completely changed the stage, changed the wood, did it exactly as it should have been done. And these boards were brought there, down. We laid these boards on the floor and spread them out. Someone brought something with them, we gave stage costumes to some, we removed curtains from the battens, curtains, borders, backdrop – all this was taken down. We spread it out for people. Then, when they first turned off our heating, then they turned off our electricity, and then gas, yes, I think it was like that. I moved literally after 3 days there, to the theater, because it was necessary to help lower the battens with stage costumes, to settle people. And later, when there was nothing – no connection, no gas, no electricity, no water, our son came to us too.

КА: On the third day, meaning you moved on February 27th, right, it turns out?

СЗ: Yes-yes-yes-yes. My wife helped people who came, because we knew all the rooms, where and what was located, where what was. We had the opportunity to take keys to these rooms, because people from security, firefighters were on duty there, so there was an opportunity to take keys.

КА: So at first everything was equipped literally with these mats, some theatrical things?

СЗ: Well, mats... Yes-yes-yes, with fabrics. The thing is, our curtains are made of thick velvet. So we took down one curtain, folded it many times, and it became such a little mattress.

КА: At the end of February, how many people had already moved to the Drama Theater?

СЗ: About 60, 60-70 people. I even have photographs of these lists, when we wrote, compiled lists, and I photographed them. Yes, my wife has the lists themselves, and I have photographs of these lists somewhere. It seems like 60 people. While we had gas, I ran to cook at home, because I live literally 7 minutes slow walk from the theater. I went to cook something, went to boil water to make tea-coffee, to bring. I went to stores, went to get water. Then, after the green corridor was announced, near our theater, we have a big circle around the theater there, a huge number of cars with people gathered, who were going to leave via the green corridor. People came from very early morning, waited. At this moment we were already living in the theater. A policeman from the regional administration came, at that time the main person in Mariupol was from the police. He came and announced that there would be no green corridor. And bombing started, very many people rushed to the theater. Very many people, there was just an insane amount.

КА: This was already on the 16th or still before?

СЗ: No-no-no, before, still before this, long before this. I don't remember dates anymore.

КА: Well, early March.

СЗ: Yes, in early March, but I don't remember dates anymore. And in different interviews I already get confused with dates, because there are a bunch of interviews, and memory gradually changes. And, you know, just the memory of the most terrible day, it displaces other memories.

КА: Yes. You stopped at the point where they said there would be no evacuation, and a bunch of people ran to the Drama Theater.

СЗ: Yes-yes, we had very many people then, but then many left, some stayed with us to spend the night. Many stayed to spend the night, I won't say the number, but there were definitely 700 people. We accommodated them all. Daily people came to the theater, because only near the Drama Theater on the square this person from the region came, and he announced, then went to the left bank. That's how he traveled, informed people where who was. People came and stayed with us hoping that the next day there would be a green corridor. I'll say for sure that until March 16th, until the 17th there were no green corridors announced. We couldn't leave at all, only at our own risk. I mainly walked around the city, tried to buy bread, bring water. Then I went to different volunteer organizations, such as "Halabuda", went to the Red Cross. But bombings were already in the center, they were already bombing at that time. My wife was engaged in arranging things in the theater. She woke up in the morning, went to clean toilets, because there were very many people, very, insanely many. On one of the days, when there weren't very many people yet, maybe 1000 people. I stood for bread already somewhere the seventh hour, 7 hours we stood in the cold, took turns with my son, came to the cold apartment, warmed up and then went to stand on the street. We stood for bread, and I saw that people were coming from some supermarket with big bags. I asked what was there, and they say, they're giving out food there. I came there, left my son, ran, told him to stand in line, and I went there to the store, to this store. There policemen were loading cars with food to take food to Volonterovka. And there they just gave out products to people, whoever grabbed what. I approached a policeman, I ask: "I have 1000 people in the theater. I need to feed them with something. Where should I turn? I need medications". He says: "Turn to 'Halabuda'". I knew where this "Halabuda" was located, I went there. Literally on the first day they brought us a little meat. Then on one of the days they brought medications. Then, when we had more than 1000, about one and a half thousand people, I went to the Red Cross. I went first to the city Red Cross. They say: "We can't help you with anything, we can take you to the distribution center for medications, women's pads, children's diapers, children's drinking water", – because we get water from a well, where, let's say, technical water. [Can't hear surname] took me there, introduced me to a woman, they brought us diapers, everything they could gather, they brought to us. After a couple of days I went to the international Red Cross, they were located not far from each other. I went for diapers, because we had small children, nothing to wash with, nowhere to wash. This is the most scarce commodity – we had wet wipes, children's diapers, women's pads. This was the most valuable. And lighting devices, flashlights, because there was no light in the theater anymore, and we had to move around with flashlights. They told me there at the international Red Cross: "Come tomorrow. Today there will be nothing more, tomorrow, maybe, there will be something". I came the next day, and it turns out they bombed somewhere nearby, they moved out. I ran between all volunteer organizations, between all that I could find. Between the hospital, between volunteer organizations, and my wife during this time spent the whole day arranging things. That's how we became commandants. My wife generally had such a situation, that someone from the police came, like: "Who's in charge here? Who's the boss here?", – and everyone says: "Zhenya". Zhenya came, they tell her: "Zhenya, you've been appointed commandant". That's how she became commandant.

КА: I understand. And so it turns out that some volunteer help in the form of food, hygiene products...

СЗ: This started later, when we applied, our employee came to us, but he was just in the police. When military actions started, he went to the police, because he's a former military man, policeman, Igor Matyushin. He worked as our administrator. He distributed tickets, arranged our trips to other cities, trips, let's say, tours. He came, asks: "Where's the director?", – "We don't know", – "Where's deputy director Chain?", – we say: "We don't know", – "Where's the chief accountant?", – we say: "We don't know". He says: "Good, I'm taking patronage, leadership over the theater, today I'll write a report to my boss". Then policemen brought us things, and volunteer organizations brought us various hygiene items, food and so on. Everything they had, they brought. Policemen helped us a lot with firewood, helped with a field kitchen. We cooked, for one family this pot is huge, but for 1000 plus people this pot is like, for half a meal. They brought us a field kitchen. I arranged, I don't remember with someone from the city administration, for a car with water to come to the theater, so we could get water. Cars with water came to us, until the barrel was exhausted, the car stood. We then had water constantly. Even though we carried it in buckets, but nevertheless. You know, we organized such a commune. Thanks to my wife, mainly, everything was organized, because I was walking around the city all the time, she was there. We had our own security, we had our own medical center, we had water carriers, we had people who burned trash, we had people who cleaned toilets in the mornings. You understand, one and a half thousand people, when you run around, yell at the whole theater. We got technical water from the well, they brought us water. I say: "When you go to the toilet for number two, take at least 3 liters of water with you". Because both I and my wife had to climb in there, into these toilets with our hands, scoop out from there. This is just unimaginable. You push with cables, it doesn't work, until you climb in there with your hand. There are understanding people, and there are people who, excuse me, in our way, internationally: "I don't give a shit". He went and took a shit, and he doesn't give a shit what happens next. Unfortunately, it's like that. I broke into a restaurant that was nearby, in order to take knives there, huge pots, big ones, this was still before the kitchen appeared. I did all this with permission from the police, with permission from this regional boss. I did everything with his permission. I opened the city toilet that was near the theater. I said: "Guys, take turns going there". Then, when I came there after 5 days, I was just horrified. It was such horror, because everyone went there, and went without water. In general, there was a horrifying sight there. Then the restaurant that I opened, we settled 80 people from Volonterovka there, because we had nowhere else to settle them. There were very-very many people, and they brought us another 80 people from Volonterovka. We settled them there. They also self-organized there, they also had a kitchen. They came to us, since the police brought us these wooden pallets, they came, I gave them pallets daily. For morning, for lunch. If they cooked dinner, then they came and took for dinner.

КА: You mean wooden pallets, this is to make fires?

СЗ: Well, yes-yes, they cooked on fires. People came to us to eat from nearby houses. If there was anything left. You know, we fed many, they ate, took water. Very many people. This is only about 2000 registered who were in the theater. 2 thousand plus, let's say.

КА: You registered them, right?

СЗ: Yes-yes, we had a registration service. People who appeared, came, we say: "So, register". Because the police told us: "You must register, address, full name, home address and phone number". For what – so that if someone is looking for someone, so people could come, find by surname, find by phone number, find by address. We did this. But after the explosion there was such turmoil, bedlam, and we unfortunately didn't take this journal, most likely it doesn't exist now. Most likely it's burned somewhere or somewhere in Russia's archives.

КА: And these 2000 people, this was already closer to mid-March such a number?

СЗ: Yes-yes-yes. 2000 people – this is everyone who passed through the theater, because people came, registered, and many left without putting a checkmark that they left. Many just left in the last days before March 16th, when there were terrible bombings, shelling and bombing specifically from airplanes. So many people gathered in columns and left. 5-6 cars left together.

КА: If we try to show this picture, for example, where did people sleep? In this basement room where there used to be a restaurant, or somewhere else?

СЗ: No, people slept throughout the theater. Starting from the first floor and ending with the third. Everywhere. People slept absolutely everywhere. In costume shops, in dressing rooms, in corridors, I can send you a video where I just go down from the 2nd to 1st floor. You can see just the number of people per square meter.

КА: Yes, all this will be needed, I'll tell you about materials at the end. The life of the Drama Theater, we're now collecting it by different pieces. As a place where you used to work, where quite recently performances took place, what did this look like in general, if you try to describe it in words? I understand that there were many people, a field kitchen appeared. What did people sleep on, for example? How was all this arranged already closer to somewhere mid-March?

СЗ: People slept on everything they found. We let them completely dismantle all the seats in the auditorium, because they have soft upholstery. When people first came during bombing, they started just breaking out seats. My wife started shouting: "What are you doing? Let me give you tools". She gave tools, and people unscrewed these seats, took them apart, and those parts that are soft, they spread on the floor and lay on them to sleep. Everyone slept in clothes, because it was +10 in the theater, this is according to mine and my wife's assumptions, maybe it was less. Different frosts happened, especially since March was very cold. I already told my wife: as soon as war, so cold too. We never had such a cold March. We used to walk in jackets at the end of March. So they slept everywhere, some on a chair, some on a table, some standing, leaning against a wall, and then changed places with those who were sitting, or with those who were lying. There were very many people, just insanely many. You understand, to settle people so they could lie down...

КА: It's impossible.

СЗ: For all people to sleep sitting, it's impossible. A person needs to lie down. It's just impossible to last 3 weeks like that, sleeping while sitting. So we tried to settle so people lay side by side. Again, we didn't settle everywhere. We settled only in the safest places. Where there are load-bearing walls, where the thickest walls are. We know where the thickest walls are, so we tried to settle people there. And to settle absolutely everyone, this was impossible. Someone slept between floors. It was terrible. But you know, for me at that time, during the war before the explosion, I had no time to think about this. We settled them, that's all. Guys, someone left, found a free place, lie down there, all, claim the spot. We only acted like that, because we couldn't act otherwise anymore. We couldn't assign someone somewhere. We primarily tried to place people with small children in the safest places. And elderly people if possible in safe places. And in less safe places, whoever finds where. But we categorically forbade settling opposite windows. We boarded up all windows, except stained glass windows that were in the second floor foyer. Because there are very big, very high windows there, there's a lot of glass there. We forbade playing there, but still children ran around there, because it's the largest area where you can run, play. When bombings started, we tried to make sure no one was there.

КА: I want to ask a clarifying question now. You as a person who spent quite a lot of time on the street – you were getting some humanitarian aid, negotiating with everyone. How was it for you? After all, Mariupol was already being shelled quite heavily, how did you experience all this?

СЗ: You won't believe it, at that time there were no experiences. I have a friend who lived with us, I won't name his surname, also my former colleague. He literally, a couple of months before the war, got a job with us at the theater. Somehow there was such a case, when Igor Matyushin, this policeman who took patronage over the theater, he said: "So, guys, let's go, I'll give you instant noodles". I say: "Good, let's go". And this person, he was very afraid to go, like: "Well, okay, let's go-let's go-let's go". Well, let's go. We went, and while we were walking, they bombed quite close to us, and he crouched down each time and, you know, pressed against the wall. That is, he was very afraid. He had panic fear of all these explosions. And when we came to the theater, somewhere 15-20 minutes later we were told that the street we walked on was completely bombed. And he was like: "Imagine, imagine, Serega, what we experienced, oh my god, my god, we were there 20 minutes ago, oh my god!". I say: "Calm down, well, we were and we were". Believe it, you won't believe it, maybe.

КА: I readily believe it.

СЗ: But I honestly say that in those days I didn't think about it at all. Honestly, it was more important for me to get something and that's all. And I don't know, for some reason I was sure that nothing would happen to me.

КА: And in general, the people who settled in the shelter in the Drama Theater, what state were they in? Surely there were very many wounded, very many people in shock, because someone lost loved ones...

СЗ: Yes-yes. There were such people, very many such were there. The state was depressed in practically everyone. I tried to cheer up, you know, they approached, asked: "Seryozha, Seryozha, what will happen?", – "Don't worry, everything will be good, everything will be normal". You know, I was sure that Russia wouldn't enter there. Well, my such aspirations didn't come true. Nevertheless, I calmed everyone, calmed many, but there were such... There was one woman there, she had... She was very, what's it called...

КА: Traumatized?

СЗ: No, not traumatized, she was without trauma, but she was in such a depressed state. My wife talked with her for very long periods, a psychologist came to her. We had such a person there, he himself was a psychologist, and he talked with many people. There was such a moment when he said: "I'm very tired". He himself needed a psychologist. There was a person who walked around with parrots, entertained children. He had parrots that he put on his shoulder and walked around entertaining children. You know, in such situations people manifest some other qualities. Such that they didn't even suspect existed. I, for example, didn't think, I knew that my wife was great, she understands her work, but I never thought that she could take on such a burden. And I never thought that I could walk under bombings and not pay attention to them. That I would walk and have a goal. I never thought that people who were generally completely far from those processes and those professions that they're engaged in at the given moment, I never thought. And so now I have a completely different opinion about many people.

КА: And your confidence that everything will be good, that nothing will happen, what was it fed by, how did this form in you generally?

СЗ: I don't know. I don't know, I can't explain. I can't explain at all. I was sure, I was just sure that everything would be good with us. And then, when the guys made the inscription "Children", they ask me: "Seryozha, what will happen to us?". I say: "Well calm down, everything will be good. Understand, we have the inscription 'Children' in such huge letters, visible from an airplane, – I say, – imagine, if they blow us up, this will be such a world resonance that it will lead to big consequences for Russia". Well, yes-yes.

КА: And can we return a bit to this episode, can you tell in a bit more detail about how the idea appeared and how these two inscriptions appeared? СЗ: Yes, of course. The thing is, we had a morning briefing every day. We would gather at 8 in the morning, let's say, like shop foremen. I would gather, my wife, the head of security would come, the cook. This friend of mine would come, the one who was afraid of everything. Another one would come, you could call him a volunteer, Dmitry, I don't remember his last name right now, I can find it. Someone else was there, I think, or maybe we gathered as six people. And so we had a briefing every day at 8 in the morning. We would gather, discuss our problems that arose. And discuss the plan for the day, so to speak. Someone, I don't remember which participant of our meeting, suggested writing an inscription. We decided by voting that we needed to write an inscription. My wife went to the security desk, took the keys to the props workshop, went up to the props workshop, well, to the art workshop. We took paint there, a roller and wrote it. That's how these inscriptions appeared.

КА: Did volunteers write it, not you yourself?

СЗ: No, I didn't write it myself, at that time I was walking around the city and, I think, was at the hospital.

КА: And these daily morning briefings that you had, how did you discuss the plan for the day? What were your main tasks in general, conditionally speaking?

СЗ: Well, look. At 6 in the morning my wife would get up. She would go on rounds through the theater. She would walk through everywhere people lived. I would get up at 7 in the morning, although I hadn't been sleeping since 5 in the morning, sometimes since 4, since 3. Then I would go on rounds, see how many people there were. The cook would walk around the same way. We would determine approximately how many people we needed to cook for, because the number of people constantly changed. We discussed issues of drinking. There was such a thing when the guys would go out into the city searching for food, and we also had such a team. Searching for food, searching for clothes. Let's say honestly, if we're being absolutely specifically honest, they would go and also loot something. Because it happens, they see that a store is being looted, they went and grabbed a bunch of warm jackets, brought it all, turned it in to the warehouse. Not for themselves, not for their women. They came, turned it in to the warehouse, and then the storekeeper would give it out to people who came with absolutely nothing, for example. They would give them warm jackets so they could at least cover themselves, so they could put them under themselves. You know, in this crew there were no people who thought exclusively about themselves. There weren't any. There were people who went looking for cigarettes, because cigarettes are a very scarce commodity. Alcohol was also a scarce commodity. And so the guys found alcohol somewhere, one evening there was such a thing that they drank a bit too much, my wife took all the alcohol away from them and locked it all up in her warehouse, where the most scarce goods were stored. Similarly, sometimes police would bring us alcohol and cigarettes so we could exchange them for some food products or life necessities. That's how we existed. We had very many different crews, I'm telling you, and garbage burners, there were very many people. Very many people who wanted to help. But there were also such people, very often, well, not very, but quite often it would happen that people would arrive, get food, in the evening get tea with a candy or some cookie. And the next day we give out boiling water in the morning and that's it, for example. They start getting indignant: "Eh, where's the tea? Why aren't we being fed?" There was naturally a line for food, and there were such ones: "Why did you pour me so little? Give me more." I say: "My dear person, I myself haven't eaten for two days," I say, "they make me eat when I run into the theater. So excuse me, please, be satisfied with at least what you got." There were such people too. You understand, the world is so complex that such people exist who think exclusively about themselves. But there were people who would go: "What can I do, how can I help? Give me something to do." There were very many such people, the main mass. There were very many elderly people, naturally, we didn't ask any of the elderly for help.

КА: Of course, what else. What did you manage to cook in general?

СЗ: Oh, to cook. You know, once there was such a thing that police brought us... I somehow asked: "Where do you get all this from?", "Well, we loot the looters, so to speak." He says: "Looters who rob deep freeze warehouses, we take it away from them and distribute it to points." They once brought us a bunch of seafood - there were fins there, and squid. When our cook saw this, our Misha, he's Armenian, he worked as a cook in various restaurants. And he prepared, I always forget what it's called, seafood soup, some French name. It was delicious, I tried it, I got half a glass while I was running around, it was very tasty. Mainly we cooked, they brought us pasta there, they brought a lot of sausages, a lot of deep-frozen fish, we hid it. Ah, and, by the way, an interesting story with this fish. We hid it in the coldest room. We just knew with my wife where it was well ventilated, and, naturally, since air comes from the street, that's the coldest place. Near the heater there was such a ventilation duct, and there was air from the street. And there was a small door there, we dumped all the fish there. After the explosion, when everyone left, the Russians started clearing rubble there, everything stank of carrion to them. They were looking for corpses, looking and looking for corpses, but in the end they found fish, there was a lot of fish left there that started to rot. For me this is funny.

КА: Yes, I understood about what you cooked. Now there will be a strange question, possibly there's no answer to it, this is a question from a person who didn't experience what you experienced. Was there anything you tried to distract yourselves with, and distract the people who lived in your theater? Maybe you didn't have time for this...

СЗ: I already told you, there were such people who tried to distract. Mainly, people stayed with their families. Because the situation was very difficult, they bombed very strongly specifically from airplanes. They bombed from airplanes, and they also hit with grads there. Grads, you know, compared to airplanes and everything else - that's nothing. So very many kept to themselves. Here 2-3 families somehow got acquainted, who live nearby, so they stuck together in this clique and communicated like that. There were many people who tried to help everyone, each person, who wanted to distract people, specifically distract them from what was happening. And those who were busy with work, it was probably much easier for them, because they were busy with something all the time.

КА: As you were busy all the time.

СЗ: Well, yes-yes, like me, my wife, like many of our, so to speak, workers and staff of the bomb shelter, yes.

КА: People lived on floors, by load-bearing walls, understandably, but shelling became more and more frequent and closer, and it hit, I think, somewhere in the radius of the Drama Theater. During strong hits very close, did people go down to some basement or was there no such possibility?

СЗ: No, there was no such possibility.

КА: That is, everything was packed there.

СЗ: Everything was packed in our basement, everything was packed. You know, these explosions, they're impossible to predict, because we were inside the building, and you don't hear how it's flying. Inside the building, especially with blocked windows, it's simply impossible to hear when a plane is flying. Where it will fly, we didn't know. It would be such that everyone would constantly run back and forth. But people had already gotten used to this, I think, to such an extent. Now, excuse me, one minute, please, will you wait, please?

КА: Yes-yes.

СЗ: Hello-hello?

КА: Yes-yes.